The Cynic’s Cache

Toxie hates everything. Yes, that means you.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Unplug Yourself

The next time you complain about not having enough time, ask yourself one question: Do I own a television?

If the answer is yes, ask yourself: Do I have cable (satellite counts)?

If the answer is yes, ask yourself: Do I watch television at least four days a week?

If you answered yes to all three, never complain about lacking enough “free time.”  You have plenty, you’re just wasting it.  If you answered yes to at least two of them, it’s highly likely you should be grouped in with those that answered all three.

Starting tomorrow, from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed, write down how much time you watch television.  Do that for a week.  After you have figured out how much time you spend staring at the glowing box, ask yourself what else you could spend that time doing.  Write that novel you dreampt about when you were 20?  Take night courses in something that interests you?  Exercise?  Learn to draw?

Do yourself a favor, now.  Cancel your cable subscription.  It isn’t worth it and it’s a waste of time.

Concerned about missing your favorite shows?  If it’s worth watching, it comes out on DVD and ends up on the (usually free) watch-whenever-you-want internet services.  I know you have access to the internet, you’re reading my website.  Worried that you can’t afford a better connection?  Compare the cost of cable to the cost of DSL.

Worried that you’ll get bored?  In that case, you’re a stupid drone that has become reliant on the television to keep your mind occupied.  Do you really want your mind to be filled with shitty sitcoms, commercials for overpriced garbage, and poorly written dramas?  If you have no idea what to do with your time without television it is likely time that you rethink your life and your priorities.  Is television that important that you let it dominate your life?

Worried that you will end up as an outsider without access to television?  Won’t know what’s going on?  Might miss the news?  Allow me to introduce you to the internet.  Learn to play chess and get on a website that lets you play it.  Find a site dedicated to something you like and you will never want for company.  Want news?  There are more news websites that you could read.  Worried that you won’t see anything different ever again?  Hello YouTube, how are you today?

Fact is, there is simply no reason to watch television.  At least, none that I can think of.  I haven’t had cable for something like six years now and don’t miss it.

posted by Toxie at 9:42 pm  

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