The Cynic’s Cache

Available here.

One thing that music never seems to get away from is controversy. Be it the drug habits, early deaths, murders, suicides, political leanings…it all ends in controversy some how or another. So, when I listen to this, I find myself wondering why one would do something so likely to cause controversy with an apparent lack of reasoning behind it?

This particular song is a rhythmic background that is very well done drowned out by what sounds like Obama quotes. I have no idea who’s saying them because I can’t listen to Obama without losing IQ, but I’m going to assume that they are him. Then they’re butchered.

I find this disappointing. The stuff going on in the background is neat and could be expanded into something wonderful. Instead, it got turned into crap.

Bad.

As I listened to this album, it just reeked of a high-energy band that is heavily influenced by such greats as NOFX. This is the kind of band that I would head down to a bar to see while I get drunk and fight.

Considering that the first song has a word like “Murderapolis,” I’m going to assume that this is what The Darkos are going for with In Stereo.

Judging by the dirty sound of the vocals, the distortion on the guitar, and the fast, energetic timing of the songs, I’m going to also assume that they are trying to be NOFX. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as relatively few bands (at least, few that I’ve heard) try for that sound these days. Perhaps they’re afraid of dealing with drunken punks at every show they play. Or, perhaps the drunken punks are too busy being drunk and dressing like punks to play instruments.

That being said, I recommend this album to drunken punks. Ever wondered how many times somebody can mention drunken punks in a review? I never have.

All things considered, the playing on the album is very solid. The drums are nice and thick, the guitar stuff meshed into the overall sound. The vocals fit the genre perfectly, with the lyrics fitting the vocals. This is the kind of album that only a band that really has their shit together can put out. There isn’t any particular member of the band trying to be the band himself. The spotlight is shared, which is really the whole point of a “band” in the first place. Good for them.

Speaking of the playing, I find it interesting that things get a bit dissonant a few times, though everything is mostly major keyed. They obviously know when to play major, when to play minor, and when to just hurt the damn music because they love it.

My main gripe with the album is that the songs don’t always flow into one another well. It sounds like eight songs that were just stuffed together, given some semblance of order, and called an album. This is minor and nit picky so I won’t dwell on it too long.

I also happen to know that the album was originally called Slappin’ Wet Meat. I think that was a better name. In Stereo is boring. It also fits the music terribly.

All in all, this is a solid album from a band that doesn’t suck. If they ever come to my area, I think I’ll go see them if I get a chance. Good stuff!

I heard the most incredible think at Wendy’s earlier this week.

Man: Wow, honey. I can’t believe you ate all that, you really must have been hungry.

Woman: Are you saying I’m fat?

Available here.

I need to give respect to a song that made me laugh before I even heard it. A song about all music being terrible? Oh, just delicious.

Normally I’d complain about the fact that recoding job is iffy at times and the beat basic, but it actually fits the subject matter perfectly. I’m also going to cut some slack based on the fact that the rapping is spot-on and solid. This just reeks of effort but perhaps a money-caused lack of fancy gear.

Of course, the effort also shows in the effects applied at just the right times. Pitch shifting your voice down when you complain about others doing it? Ironic and wonderful.

I imagine the people behind this song are spectacularly entertaining. Toxie approved!

Available here.

Ah yes, Dickbutt. He who turns up in odd places and makes you go “what?” Dickbutt, who has a dick for a butt.

You know, I don’t really know what to think about this track. On one hand, I feel like my blog is getting trolled. On the other hand, I’m thinking that a band with a name like Dada Fist is doing their damnedest to make the most atrocious anti-music imaginable.

See, as humor has anti-humor, music has anti-music. It looks like music, and you can’t help but like some of it, but at the same time, you know you shouldn’t.

Dick Butt here is barely over twenty seconds long. It consists of very simple rock/metal stuff and a few lines of lyrics about Dick Butt and him having a dick for a butt. All things considered, I don’t think Dickbutt can be set to music any othe way.

So, I’m going to put this one in that special category of “listen to at your own risk.” On one hand, it captures the essence of good old Dickbutt perfectly, but on the other hand…well, anti-music.

Available here.

This song is actually painful to listen to for a variety of reasons.

The most obvious is the fact that it’s so dreary. This song sounds like a seven year old sitting inside, staring out the window at a rain storm on the first day of summer. It sounds like a guy standing in the rain with a bouquet of flowers for his girlfriend that he just found murdered. This song sounds like…OK, you get the picture. It’s depressing.

Bonus points for capturing emotion, but that’s really all this song has going for it.

The other thing that makes it painful to listen to is how simplistic and draggy everything is. The song just moves…oh…so…slowly. It just didn’t end fast enough. Everything is too straight, too boring, too bland. It fits the music in a “sort of” kind of way, but is still way too damn boring.

All things considered, some vocals could help spruce it up a bit, but the only path I can see that taking is a guy singing about that girl that wouldn’t go to the prom with him twenty years ago and turned him into a raging alcoholic that lives under a bridge that it rains underneath every day.

Judging by the song’s sound and its name, this is the work of an amateur that is trying way too hard.

It seems that, every election year, there is somebody out there that tries to snag votes in ways that are not only silly but also insulting. This year, it seems that there is at least one person out there obsessed with his middle name.

I forget when I heard it first and wish I could remember who “exposed” it first, but somebody out there decided that Obama could be completely blasted out of the election overnight because his middle name is Hussein. Yes, that’s right…he happens to have a middle name that is the same as everybody’s favorite Iraqi dictator’s last name.

Apparently, the American public is stupid enough to make some kind of connection and decide not to vote for Obama. Because, you know…having similar names means they’re the same, right? When I first heard the whole name “Barack Hussein Obama,” I kept hearing particular emphasis on the “Hussein” part of it, as if something magic would happen if they repeated it enough.

Of course, those of us with more than two brain cells and access to wikipedia can find out two very interesting facts.

First, Senator Obama is actually Barack Hussein Obama II. That’s right, the second. That means he was named after his father, who was born before Saddam Hussein. Not only that, but Senator Obama himself was born before Saddam Hussein caused a big ruckus over some kind of weapons he may or may not have had.

Second, Hussein is a common Arabic name.

Shame on us for letting these people run the country.

Available here.

Here’s another familiar name from back in my first review blog. Rude Corps is one of those bands that I can’t help but like. The fact is, they’re different.

Which is why I found this track a bit shocking. There’s a guitar and a pretty straightforward rock-inspired industrial rhythm to the song. Well, at least at first.

As things go on, other…sounds…start to creep in like some horrible, enormous abomination in a bad horror flick that weights seven tons but still moves like a cat. That had a nice effect, all things considered.

Underneath that is a lovely, driving beat that could be easy to dance to in particularly…let’s just say “enthusiastic” ways. I can see people slam dancing to this kind of music. Moshing or raving at the very least.

My only gripe (I seem to complain about this a lot) is that the song doesn’t particularly go anywhere. It would be nice to stuff in the middle of a DJ set, but will only rarely turn heads on by itself.

All in all, another quality track brought to us by the mad science of Rude Corps.

Discuss on the forums.

Available here.

First off, this is a bit of a change, as this is the review of an entire album, let alone just one song.

My first thoughts about Seasons were along the lines of “Oh man, this sounds like it would be totally cool to just chill out to.” The album starts off with a laid-back sound and lyrics that sound like somebody rambling about wandering off. The effect was really neat.

After more listening, what really stood out was the instrumentation. It would sound like pretty standard rock if it weren’t for the violin. Of course, breaking standard rules always scores bonus points in this particular review pit. So does adding violins. They’re wonderful instruments.

As thing progressed, I started noticing that at times, things are slow and chill, while other times get somewhat more complex. This tells me that the band understands that, sometimes, you need to play fast, but other times, you need to play slow. They sound like they aren’t out to show off or impress anybody, they’re out to play music. Bravo, I say, as that show an attention to musical goodness.

A Boy Named Earth also seems to have mastered several different styles. Winter gets a bit smashy, but then leads into Spring, which reminds me of the Dave Matthews Band. Spring Part 3, however, broke from that and strikes me as very Irish. The mix of styles here and there did little to take away from the album, but rather enhances it greatly. The variety is blended together quite well.

Though the songs are written about seasons and named after them, for some reason, it just struck me that they didn’t entirely fit all of the time. It sounds nice, but I expected winter to me more slow and flat than minor, rocky, and a bit spooky. That isn’t to say that it sounded bad, it just struck me as odd.

Talking about this album would be incomplete without mention of the vocals. The singer has an airy, mellow voice that fits the music perfectly. It sounds almost like everything was built around the vocal parts, as it fits together like that in my head. Though they get a touch quiet from time to time, they are overall very well done.

The lyrics, unfortunately, leave something to be desired. Perhaps I expect more complexity, perhaps they just aren’t my style. Sometimes, they delve into a particularly non-poetic style. This may be intentional, but it bothers me when I can be bothered to pay attention.

This album may turn out to be a little inaccessible for some, as it just reeks of artistry. Though I like that kind of thing, I know that a lot of people don’t.

All in all, Seasons is a quality album. Those that like their music varied and a touch on the chill side should give A Boy Named Earth a listen.

Available here.

What I hear in this band is a group that wants to be Depeche Mode but just can’t quite pull it off. That’s not to say that they’re necessarily bad, as Depeche Mode set a pretty high bar when it comes to music.

That being said, The Reason has some interesting moments and is varied enough to really keep my interest. It brings little new to the table, far as I’m concerned, considering how much they sound like the band I mentioned above.

At first, I thought I was going to hate this song, as the intro just bothered me. I don’t know what it was about the first few parts of the song that got under my skin, exactly, I just know that they did. My guess is that it was just too flat and boring.

The part that was next really grabbed my attention, as the rhythm and the way the vocals worked were just downright neat.

From there, it was just downhill as things wound down. I found the singing mostly just unvaried, flat, and boring. The singer also sounds like he would be amazing if he had more training.

I’m giving this one a “mediocre” but look forward to hearing We Are All Dying when they get some improvement down.

Discuss on the forums.